Just woke up after like only 5 hours of sleep. Still tired, still sad. Wish it was easy to just go to one of my friends or my mum and say ‘I’m depressed and sad and going through a really hard time right now and just need you to hold me” but it’s not because I don’t want people to know I’m broken and then try to fix me, because they don’t get it. I feel like everyone would just be like well try this or maybe this will feel better. And if they’ve never felt the same way, they will probably want an explanation, to understand how you’re feeling but it’s not something that can just be easily put into words, because that’s the point. Depression isn’t something that can just be explained and understood in a couple of words. It’s so complicated and confusing to the person going through it which is why it’s so hard to get out of. Because if we can’t understand our feelings how is someone else supposed to. But I feel like that’s what anyone would want, to understand it so they can just come up with an easy fix solution. But if there was one of those, we would have figured it out by now and no one would be depressed anymore.
Tonight is just one of the worst nights I’ve had in a while. Think I might take some cold medicine and muscle relaxants cause I just need to sleep right now. Otherwise I dont know what I’ll do. Depression sucks.
Tried to put this under a read more but I’m using my mum’s work computer and I’m only allowed to use IE on here which obviously sucks.
Going to bed early tonight. Just feeling really lonely, none of my friends are very chatty tonight, probably all busy. I was supposed to have plans but he cancelled and I just so done with him and boys. Ended things with the other guy I was seeing too. I can do so much better than them and I know that but it is still frustrating. Especially now that I cant even talk to them. Part of the reason I kept things going with them was to help me not feel so lonely. But now I’m sitting here in the dark all alone and i just feel so sad and uncared for. I dont want to hurt myself but sometimes it feels like it would just be so much easier. Cut, cry, get my mind off things, feel a little bit better then go to sleep. But I cant do that because I made a promise. And even though I don’t really feel like that person I made a promise to would even notice, because she probably wont even bother to read this or pay attention when I see her next, I still have to keep it cause it would break my heart if she found out and was dissappointed in me.
I know that I dont need to feel like this and that aside from the boys in my life being pretty shitty, for the most part, things are actually going well, but I just cant help it. I know I’ve got things to look forward to but right now all I can concentrate on are the things that suck. I am alone, I am tired, I am stressed, I am scared, I am hurt and I am very unhappy. I just dont know what to do anymore.
- upset stomach and vomiting
- muscle aches
- chronic fatigue
- hormonal problems
- irregular menstrual cycles
- lowered immune system
- shortness of breath
- heart palpitations
it is a lot more than just “feeling anxious “
how do boys actually dry their ducks after they shower like
do you just grab it in the towel and roll it between your hands like a dough snake
or do you swing it around to air dry
I need to know
I feel like this was all one big misunderstanding but idk that’s a cute duck